{"id":6766,"date":"2011-03-31T04:30:00","date_gmt":"2011-03-31T11:30:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/wordpress-367309-1145696.cloudwaysapps.com\/?p=6766"},"modified":"2011-03-31T04:30:00","modified_gmt":"2011-03-31T11:30:00","slug":"green-dating","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/feelgoodstyle.com\/articles\/green-dating\/","title":{"rendered":"Green Dating: Are You Selling Yourself Short?"},"content":{"rendered":"<figure id=\"attachment_6805\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-6805\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"https:\/\/feelgoodstyle.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/03\/ecodating_blogpost.png\"><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"size-full wp-image-6805\" src=\"https:\/\/feelgoodstyle.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/03\/ecodating_blogpost.png\" alt=\"A young man wearing a large cowboy hat and holding an ax stares sideways at a young women as he thinks about meat via a cartoon thought bubble. The young stares ack at him with a concerned expression, holding a tree as she thinks about a pig.\" width=\"500\" height=\"400\" srcset=\"https:\/\/feelgoodstyle.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/03\/ecodating_blogpost.png 500w, https:\/\/feelgoodstyle.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/03\/ecodating_blogpost-300x240.png 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\" \/><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-6805\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">How irreconcilable are your differences?<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>Dating is difficult enough without being \u201ccrunchy.\u201d Family, religious convictions, ethnic background, and political orientation can make or break a partnership. But what does being environmentally-friendly or cruelty-free add to the mix?<\/p>\n<p>Green dating certainly isn\u2019t easy. Gender imbalances in many\u00a0green communities (<a title=\"The &quot;Gender&quot; Question of Animal Rights: Why Are Women in the Majority?\" href=\"http:\/\/www.allacademic.com\/\/meta\/p_mla_apa_research_citation\/1\/0\/3\/8\/6\/pages103868\/p103868-1.php\" target=\"_blank\">68-80% of of animal rights activists are women<\/a>) cause many of our crunchy sisters to enter relationships with male partners\u00a0who do not share their values. But where do we draw the line between compromise and giving up?<\/p>\n<p><strong><em>Next&gt;&gt; <a href=\"https:\/\/feelgoodstyle.com\/?p=6766&amp;page=2\">Keep your eyes peeled for these three\u00a0warning signs.<\/a><\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><em>Image Credit: Creative Commons photo by <a title=\"Robnas's Flickr Gallery\" href=\"http:\/\/www.flickr.com\/photos\/robnas\/4929083509\/\" target=\"_blank\">Robnas<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n<p><!--nextpage--><\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-6783\" src=\"https:\/\/feelgoodstyle.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/03\/ignored.jpg\" alt=\"ignored\" width=\"500\" height=\"335\" srcset=\"https:\/\/feelgoodstyle.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/03\/ignored.jpg 500w, https:\/\/feelgoodstyle.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/03\/ignored-300x201.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\" \/><\/p>\n<h3>1. He Ignores Your\u00a0Values<\/h3>\n<p>A loving partner respects your lifestyle by recognizing it as part of who you are, not by pretending it doesn\u2019t exist. Successful partnerships require compromise and understanding on both sides. Practices that come with living compassionately (refusing to wear fur, recycling, being veg*n, buying organic) are important moral decisions which define who we are, and how we see ourselves.<\/p>\n<p>A respectful and mature man respects that, and understands that \u201clive and let live\u201d does not mean \u201cI live, you shut up.\u201d He makes concessions and seeks to learn about your lifestyle in order to avoid misunderstandings, and doesn&#8217;t ignore what is important to you. If the man in your life does not respect your customs, but simply expects you to tolerate his \u201cnormal ones,\u201d hit the road! You deserve better.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Red Flags for Green Dating:<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>He won\u2019t use shared income for green products\u00a0that are used for shared chores.\u00a0Makes excuses such as, &#8220;I\u2019ve always used THIS product\u201d or \u201cYour product costs too much,\u201d even though some of his purchases likely cost more than cruelty-free soap (shiny tech gadgets, anyone?).<\/li>\n<li>Ridiculing you as \u201cfinicky\u201d for refusing to eat food that goes against your ethical beliefs.<\/li>\n<li>Repeatedly bringing you to restaurants that do not have food options for you.<\/li>\n<li>Complaining about your \u201ctofu,\u201d but accusing you of \u201cpreaching\u201d when you complain about his food choices.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><em><strong>Next&gt;&gt; <a href=\"https:\/\/feelgoodstyle.com\/?p=6766&amp;page=3\">Does he want to convert you?<\/a><\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Image Credit: Creative Commons photo by <\/em><a title=\"F Mafra's Flickr Gallery\" href=\"http:\/\/www.flickr.com\/photos\/f_mafra\/2535681746\/\" target=\"_blank\"><em>F Mafra<\/em><\/a><\/p>\n<p><!--nextpage--><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/feelgoodstyle.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/03\/preach-it.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-6784\" src=\"https:\/\/feelgoodstyle.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/03\/preach-it.jpg\" alt=\"preach it\" width=\"500\" height=\"333\" srcset=\"https:\/\/feelgoodstyle.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/03\/preach-it.jpg 500w, https:\/\/feelgoodstyle.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/03\/preach-it-300x199.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<h3>2. He Wants to \u201cConvert\u201d You<\/h3>\n<p>Some people think being green and cruelty-free is the \u201cwrong\u201d way to live, and want to make you \u201csee the light.\u201d No amount of scientific evidence or reasoning will change their minds\u2014 in fact, they need to \u201csave you\u201d in order to prove that they are \u201cright.\u201d If a man tries to force you into his lifestyle or argue you out of it, leave him to argue with himself\u2026 <a title=\"9 Tips to Turn Your Bathroom into an Eco Spa\" href=\"https:\/\/feelgoodstyle.com\/2011\/03\/15\/the-homemade-spa-9-tips-to-turn-your-bathroom-into-an-eco-spa\/\">you have better things to do<\/a>!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Red Flags for Green Dating:<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>He repeatedly belittles your views with statements like \u201cyou don\u2019t know what you\u2019re talking about.\u201d<\/li>\n<li>He expects you to copy his beliefs in order to please his friends and family.<\/li>\n<li>He uses his cultural background as an excuse for intolerance, and calls you intolerant for refusing to\u00a0mimic his views. Tolerance works both ways: you can respect him without copying him, just as he can respect you without copying you. Culture and tradition are dynamic forces which change with time\u2014 not steadfast excuses for intolerance.<\/li>\n<li>He claims you are \u201cmissing out\u201d by not eating or doing what he is (hunting, eating meat, etc).<\/li>\n<li>He expresses uninformed, irrational \u201cconcern\u201d over your health (especially about body weight\u00a0or anemia, relying on assumptions instead of facts).<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><em><strong>Next&gt;&gt; <a href=\"https:\/\/feelgoodstyle.com\/?p=6766&amp;page=4\">Is he a show off?<\/a><\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Image Credit: Creative Commons photo by <a title=\"Chmeredith's Flickr page\" href=\"http:\/\/www.flickr.com\/photos\/chmeredith\/4561383862\/\" target=\"_blank\">chmeredith<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n<p><!--nextpage--><\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-6785\" src=\"https:\/\/feelgoodstyle.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/03\/too-cool-for-school.jpg\" alt=\"too cool for school\" width=\"500\" height=\"500\" srcset=\"https:\/\/feelgoodstyle.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/03\/too-cool-for-school.jpg 500w, https:\/\/feelgoodstyle.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/03\/too-cool-for-school-150x150.jpg 150w, https:\/\/feelgoodstyle.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/03\/too-cool-for-school-300x300.jpg 300w, https:\/\/feelgoodstyle.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/03\/too-cool-for-school-50x50.jpg 50w, https:\/\/feelgoodstyle.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/03\/too-cool-for-school-186x186.jpg 186w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\" \/><\/p>\n<h3>3. He\u2019s a Show-Off<\/h3>\n<p>People who are unstable in their personal beliefs constantly feel the need to assert them, even in places where it isn\u2019t appropriate. Sometimes an event, such as gaining a girlfriend, triggers reactionary efforts in some men to assert their \u201cmanhood\u201d and individuality. After all, no man wants to appear \u201chenpecked.\u201d However, some guys are so paranoid about \u201closing control\u201d and losing their individuality that they place their insecurities ahead of your happiness as a couple, and value external gratification more than your private time together. If your partner constantly has to define himself and his \u201cmanliness\u201d at your expense, leave him alone to pay the price.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Red Flags for Green Dating:<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>He starts doing things just to \u201ctest\u201d your reaction (wearing more animal skins than usual, eating more meat than usual, etc..)<\/li>\n<li>The main organizations he insults, makes fun of, or criticizes are leading environmental and animal rights organizations (Greenpeace, PETA, Humane Society, SPCA).<\/li>\n<li>He draws undue attention to his food choices or yours (i.e. \u201cI\u2019m having a REALLY DELICIOUS STEAK,\u201d or \u201cShe\u2019s missing out on this great steak by eating her nasty tofu \u2026\u201d).<\/li>\n<li>He views being \u201cgreen\u201d and cruelty-free as a \u201cgirl thing\u201d that \u201creal men\u201d aren\u2019t into.<\/li>\n<li>He demands that you cook dishes you aren\u2019t comfortable preparing (such as veal or foie gras), just to get his way.<\/li>\n<li>He always expects two separate meals on the table, and refuses to eat what you eat even though he never tried it or has any legitimate health concerns about it (meat-eaters do not have moral qualms with eating vegetables\u2026 which is great since<a title=\"Dairy-Free Risotto Recipe\" href=\"http:\/\/dairyfreecooking.about.com\/od\/vegetarianentreessides\/r\/vegrisotto.htm\" target=\"_blank\"> shitake mushroom risotto<\/a> is an excellent vegan aphrodisiac!).<\/li>\n<li>He ridicules your beliefs in front of his friends, publically or privately.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>At the end of the day, &#8220;crunchy&#8221; women leave the world a better place by endowing it with more compassion and goodwill. This is an important role, so do not deny yourself the respect and\u00a0tolerance you extend to the earth and animals around you.<\/p>\n<p><em>Image Credit: Creative Commons photo by <a title=\"HellyKelly's Flickr Account\" href=\"http:\/\/www.flickr.com\/photos\/17669596@N00\/264912761\/\" target=\"_blank\">hellykelly<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Dating is difficult enough without being \u201ccrunchy.\u201d Family, religious convictions, ethnic background, and political orientation can make or break a partnership. But what does being environmentally-friendly or cruelty-free add to the mix? <a class=\"g1-link g1-link-more\" href=\"https:\/\/feelgoodstyle.com\/articles\/green-dating\/\">More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":86,"featured_media":6805,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"apple_news_api_created_at":"","apple_news_api_id":"","apple_news_api_modified_at":"","apple_news_api_revision":"","apple_news_api_share_url":"","apple_news_coverimage":0,"apple_news_coverimage_caption":"","apple_news_is_hidden":false,"apple_news_is_paid":false,"apple_news_is_preview":false,"apple_news_is_sponsored":false,"apple_news_maturity_rating":"","apple_news_metadata":"\"\"","apple_news_pullquote":"","apple_news_pullquote_position":"","apple_news_slug":"","apple_news_sections":"\"\"","apple_news_suppress_video_url":false,"apple_news_use_image_component":false},"categories":[15],"tags":[5482,166,3056,34,5483,5484,5485,2282,5486],"apple_news_notices":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/feelgoodstyle.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/03\/ecodating_blogpost.png","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/feelgoodstyle.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6766"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/feelgoodstyle.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/feelgoodstyle.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/feelgoodstyle.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/86"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/feelgoodstyle.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6766"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/feelgoodstyle.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6766\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/feelgoodstyle.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/6805"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/feelgoodstyle.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6766"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/feelgoodstyle.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6766"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/feelgoodstyle.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6766"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}