![\"At](\"https:\/\/feelgoodstyle.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/old.jpg\")
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The first time in my life I remember being aware of aging, I was just three or four years old. I was with my favorite aunt, and I adored her. I\u2019d do anything in the world for her. On this day she pulled me onto her lap and asked me, \u201cJust stay this size forever.\u201d In that moment, I felt conflicted. On the one hand, I wanted to please her, and I liked being lap-sized. On the other hand, I knew the futility in it. I was going to get older. I was going to get taller. I was going to grow up. Even though I felt a little guilt for it in the moment, I wanted those things. I wanted to mature and try new things and go new places and experience life.<\/p>\n
The second time in my life I remember being aware of aging, I was at my ten-year high school reunion. After shrugging off the less than inspired styles and haircuts of the early nineties, people looked considerably sleeker and put together. While I was looking into the faces of those former classmates and trying to remember which person sat behind me in geometry and which person was in show choir with me, a guy who I knew from kindergarten through high school said something that surprised me.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell,\u201d he said, \u201cwe\u2019re old now.\u201d<\/p>\n
We were 28. That to me didn\u2019t feel old at all. In fact, I was at a point where I felt more in control of my life than ever. The year before I\u2019d made a renewed effort at working out and eating more fruits and vegetables. I had loads of energy. I was feeling at the top of my game. Old was not a top descriptor as far as I was concerned.<\/p>\n
Since that night, I\u2019ve heard people much younger than me call themselves \u201cold.\u201d And it\u2019s never in a good way. It never means to say, \u201cOh, I\u2019m feeling wizened, mature, experienced, and secure.\u201d It generally is meant to say, \u201cI am tired, haggard, and not what I once was.\u201d<\/p>\n
As for the last one \u2013 well, yes, I\u2019m not as I once was. But just as my three-year-old self would have felt a 20-year-old was old, that doesn\u2019t make it so. And just because I\u2019m not 18 anymore doesn\u2019t make me old either. To the college students I pass on the sidewalk, if they think about me a moment, maybe to them I\u2019m old. But to the folks I see coming out of the senior center, probably not so much. Old is relative.<\/p>\n
If I had decided I was old at 28, that would mean that if I live to be 90, I\u2019d spend 62 years being old. That\u2019s an awfully long time to be old and an awfully small percentage of time to be young. And is that it? Is it just a step, an invisible line that we cross over? I\u2019m young. I\u2019m not so young. And now I\u2019m old?<\/p>\n
In our culture, it\u2019s no surprise that youth is put on a pedestal. The picture of beauty in magazines and movies is young and wrinkle-less. But why? I wouldn\u2019t say that there is a flaw in being 3-years-old or a flaw in being 18-years-old or a flaw in being 38-years-old. They\u2019re all different. At some points in my life, I\u2019ve felt happier and lighter and full of possibilities. At others I\u2019ve felt more weighed down and full of doubts. But it doesn\u2019t follow some kind of linear path of aging. It\u2019s chaotic. It\u2019s up and down. There are peaks and valleys and highs and lows.<\/p>\n
With every age, with every year, with every moment we have the power to decide who we are and what we represent. Maybe someday I will get old, but I\u2019m going to put that off for a while. There’s too much life to savor\u00a0instead.<\/p>\n
Image Credit: Photo by David Busch\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" The first time in my life I remember being aware of aging, I was just three or four years old. I was with my favorite aunt, and I adored her. I\u2019d do anything in the world for her. On this day she pulled me onto her lap and asked me, \u201cJust stay this size forever.\u201d […] More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":16,"featured_media":11607,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"apple_news_api_created_at":"","apple_news_api_id":"","apple_news_api_modified_at":"","apple_news_api_revision":"","apple_news_api_share_url":"","apple_news_coverimage":0,"apple_news_coverimage_caption":"","apple_news_is_hidden":false,"apple_news_is_paid":false,"apple_news_is_preview":false,"apple_news_is_sponsored":false,"apple_news_maturity_rating":"","apple_news_metadata":"\"\"","apple_news_pullquote":"","apple_news_pullquote_position":"","apple_news_slug":"","apple_news_sections":"\"\"","apple_news_suppress_video_url":false,"apple_news_use_image_component":false},"categories":[5082],"tags":[946,2583,8010,8011,5934],"apple_news_notices":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/feelgoodstyle.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/old.jpg","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/feelgoodstyle.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11606"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/feelgoodstyle.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/feelgoodstyle.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/feelgoodstyle.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/16"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/feelgoodstyle.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=11606"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/feelgoodstyle.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11606\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/feelgoodstyle.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/11607"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/feelgoodstyle.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=11606"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/feelgoodstyle.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=11606"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/feelgoodstyle.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=11606"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}